Beyond "Good Job": How to Give Praise More Effectively

"Well done!" "Good job!"

They're the easy go-to phrases we all fall into. Me included!

And there is nothing wrong with them. I'm just sharing some thoughts and experience with you, because thinking this way taught me a great deal.

Why It Matters 🌱

As a Nursery Principal, I used to coach my staff on giving praise in a way that built each child's own potential, and attitudes of perseverance and grit.

We don't want to create a society of mini people-pleasers, or children who think everything they do is great. That doesn't support a growth mindset.

If you'd like to learn more about this line of thought, have a look at the work of Carol Dweck.

My Guidelines for Praise ✨

1. Make it specific. Tailor your praise to your child, in that moment.
2. Be in the moment. Praise is lovely to hear at any time, but it's most effective right then and there.
3. Avoid generic praise. "Good job" or "good girl" usually isn't enough to connect a child to the behaviour they just got right.
4. Encourage their own good feelings about what they've done.
5. Focus on their feelings, not yours. This builds their own motivation from the inside.
6. Reflect. What could you say next time that would help them repeat the behaviour?
7. Stay curious and connected, so you keep learning as a parent too.

Try Saying... 💬

• "How did that make you feel when you reached the next level on the climbing frame?"
• "I noticed it was tricky for you, and I like the way you changed your technique. Did that help?"
• "You kept going, even when it was hard."
• "I like the way you served yourself."
• "You tried something new today!"

I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts, and any examples of what works for you. Tag me on Instagram @principal_lisa.

Let's learn together.

💛 Want more ideas for calm, confident parenting? Book a Free Discovery Call and let's talk it through together: https://www.thepottyqueen.me/free-call

With love, Principal Lisa x