Choosing a Nursery or Primary School: Tour Questions

Choosing a nursery for your child as a new Mum can be a daunting, emotionally fraught task.

As a Nursery Principal, I would meet several Mums and Dads each day, each with long checklists of criteria, and do tours. I once met a Dad who told me he had visited 17 nurseries that week. He stood with a spreadsheet on his phone, ticking off the criteria that my nursery met.

Interestingly, my nursery that day didn't meet the spreadsheet criteria, but he chose our nursery all the same. When I asked him why, he told me it was just a feeling. An instinct.

I think that instinct came from the warmth, the welcome, and the care I showed him as we walked around the nursery. The primary need is for parents and children to feel heard, and to find somewhere that shows care and attention.

Over the years, I have stood at the nursery door hugging poor Mums who are sobbing as they say goodbye to their babies. I think the most important thing of all is finding professionals who are passionate about their work.

Criteria for Choosing a Nursery

• Where do you live? Think about location to work, and family support for pick-up.
• What is the congestion in the area like at drop-off and collection?
• Which curriculum or early years pedagogy, such as Montessori or Reggio, do they follow or feel inspired by? Can you see evidence of that around the nursery?
• Will you choose a standalone nursery or a chain of nurseries? Is it an established nursery or school?
• Do the hours, breakfast club and full-day provision for working parents match your needs? How do they alert parents to closures?
• What is their up-to-date reputation, and what do the reviews say? Can you speak to any current parents?
• Fees and extra costs: can you pay monthly?
• Are the facilities well maintained? Look up and down, and all around.
• When you are on a tour, do you see relaxed children at play?
• Does the team have time for questions? Do you feel heard?
• Are the resources meaningful and carefully considered?
• Were the teachers appropriately dressed for their role with small children? Were they active and on their feet, focused on the children?
• Did you see evidence of their policies and procedures? Did you see examples of learning displayed on the walls?
• Do the nursery policies match your values?
• Were the bathrooms and changing areas clean and well managed?

Book a Tour (and Then Another)

Once you've narrowed it down to a few nurseries, book a tour. Don't just tour once. Visit at other times too.

I think it's worth checking parent involvement and engagement; sometimes this is visible on social media or on their website. Do the photos and the information they share show a sense of community you could see yourselves being part of? Can you picture your child being there?

When you are on the tour and going through the registration process, are they able to find time to answer your questions? You might ask what they feel makes them unique, or what one thing they would change about the nursery, and why.

As you tour, can you see engaged children who are enthusiastic about learning, and teachers who are relaxed and comfortable? As you finish, ask yourself if the nursery resonates with your family values.

It can be useful to ask what they do in different scenarios, such as when a child bites another child, to test whether your values and responses are aligned. It can also be helpful to ask to see some policies to check on safety.

Most parents will decide on the feel. An instinct, a connection, and also how their child reacts.

Should Children Choose?

What about the children themselves? Children see nurseries from a different perspective and may choose based on colours, toys and facilities. It's important to allow children space to ask questions and take part. However, you are the grown-up with the most understanding and experience.

Whichever nursery you choose, I can guarantee it will be bustling. Nurseries are living, breathing communities of people, all doing their best.

No school is perfect.

Questions to Ask on Your Tour

🚗 Practicalities & Security

• Is parking easy and safe at drop-off and pick-up?
• What are your opening hours and holiday dates?
• How is the nursery kept secure throughout the day?
• What happens if somebody different needs to collect my child?
• What are your emergency procedures?

👩‍🏫 Staff & Relationships

• What has staff turnover been like over the past year?
• How long have your current team members been here?
• Who will be my child's key person?
• If my child's key person leaves, how do you support that transition?
• How do you maintain consistency if staff are absent?
• What ongoing professional development do your staff receive, particularly around child development and emotional wellbeing?

❤️ Your View of Children

These are the questions that reveal a nursery's philosophy.

• How do you view children?
• If you could describe childhood in three words, what would they be?
• What do you believe children need most during these early years?
• If my child came to your nursery today, who do you hope they would become by the time they leave?
• From your perspective as an educator, what age do you feel children are generally ready to begin nursery, and why?

🌱 Learning & Curriculum

• Do you follow a fixed curriculum, or do children's interests shape the learning?
• How do children's interests influence your planning?
• Can you give me an example of a child's curiosity becoming the focus of learning?
• Can you talk me through a typical day from a child's perspective?
• How much uninterrupted free play do children have?
• Do children have to move as a whole group, or can they remain deeply engaged in an activity?
• How do you support children at different stages of development within the same class?

🎨 The Learning Environment

• Are children free to access books and resources independently throughout the day?
• Can you show me how materials are organised so children can choose and return them independently?
• How do you teach children to care for and tidy their environment?
• How often do children use spaces such as the library, outdoor area, sensory room or specialist rooms?
• Are all the beautiful spaces you've shown me genuinely part of children's daily or weekly experience?
• How do you adapt the environment as children's needs and interests change?

😊 Emotional Wellbeing & Behaviour

• How do you respond when a child is having a difficult moment with big feelings?
• How do you support emotional regulation?
• How do you approach behaviour without relying on rewards or punishment?
• What is your policy on biting?
• How do you respond if a child repeatedly struggles to meet the nursery's expectations?
• How do you build positive relationships between children?

🌟 Independence

• How do you encourage independence throughout the day?
• How do you support toileting and self-care?
• What happens if my child isn't yet toilet trained?
• How do children learn practical life skills such as dressing, pouring drinks and tidying away?

🍎 Mealtimes

• How are meals and snacks managed?
• What happens if a child doesn't want to eat?
• Are children encouraged to listen to their own hunger and fullness cues?
• Is mealtime viewed as part of learning and social development?

💬 Communication With Families

• How do you communicate with parents about their child's day?
• How do you share progress and development?
• How are concerns discussed?
• How do you work in partnership with families?

🌈 Values & Culture

• What are your nursery values?
• How do children come to understand and live those values every day?
• How do adults model those values?
• How do you create a sense of belonging for every child?

The Questions That Tell You the Most

If I could only ask five questions, they would be:

1. How do you view children?
2. If my child came to your nursery, who would they become by the time they leave?
3. Can you talk me through a typical day from a child's perspective?
4. How do children's interests influence what happens here each day?
5. Can you tell me about a child whose interests changed the direction of your planning?

Those five questions reveal far more than whether the nursery has a beautiful playground or a shiny reception. They uncover the beliefs that drive every decision the nursery makes.

Because children don't experience a nursery through its facilities.

They experience it through its people, its relationships, and the everyday moments that make them feel safe, capable, curious and valued.

💛 Choosing a nursery and feeling unsure? You don't have to work it out on your own. Book a Free Discovery Call and let's talk it through together: https://www.thepottyqueen.me/free-call

With love, Principal Lisa x