Fussy Eating: Start With Reflection, Not Recipes

Food can be an emotive topic.

Parents often attach expectations and emotions to this area of family life. And it usually centres around dinner time, when the family is already tired, the house is busy, and the children are seeking connection.

Behaviour may not be at its best. Parenting techniques are put to the test. Perhaps one parent has a different viewpoint, and inconsistency creeps in.

So before we change anything on the plate, we start with reflection. This first phase is vital to move a family forward.

What Is Your Goal? 💭

To Expand Food Variety?

• Why is it important to you?
• Are your expectations realistic?
• Are you comparing your child to a friend's child who eats more?
• What beliefs have you brought forward from your own childhood that could affect what your child eats?

To Reduce the Stress at Mealtimes?

• Is the behaviour you are seeing only at meals, or do you see it at other times too?
• Could now be a time to reflect on parenting approaches in general, and make some adjustments?

To Reduce Stress at the End of the Day?

• Is your hope for more variety only about dinner time?
• Could you focus on other times of the day, like breakfast, to make the change?

Look at the Whole Week 📅

Many medical experts say it's best to focus on what your child eats over a week, not on one day.

That's based on an active, thriving child who is growing and gaining weight well. If you have any concerns, please see your paediatrician.

Phase 1: Change the Feeling, Not the Food 🌱

Phase 1 is when you change the environment, the attitudes and the feelings, and reframe meals and food.

• Eat as a family. Yes, eat as a family. Yes, eat as a family! I can't stress that enough. If you're working, build in weekend meals or a daily family breakfast.
• Make mealtimes fixed in stone. Children thrive on routine. 20 to 30 minutes for a meal, 10 minutes for a sit-down snack, and leave 90 minutes after a snack before a meal.
• Phones in a basket. The whole family puts theirs in a basket in the kitchen. It becomes part of the meal ritual.
• Let them serve. Open bowls, serving spoons, and let them serve themselves, their sibling and you. They know what amount they feel ready to eat.
• Trust their tummies. "Can you feel your tummy for me? What is it saying?"
• Connect first. A quiet activity before dinner, with touch, eye contact and being present, before the evening rush kicks in.
• Never use food as a reward. No bribes, no emotions around food.

The 80/20 Rule 🍽️

In Phase 1, the foods your child likes make up 80% of mealtimes. New foods come alongside, with no pressure, as the other 20%.

When life has become calmer around meals and the resistance has gone, you can move forward to Phase 2: 60/40.

How quickly can you move from one phase to the next? That will be down to you. The fastest route is to let go of control, meet your child where they are, and adjust expectations.

Refusing food loses its appeal if you don't react.

Small steps turn into big leaps!

💛 Worried about your child's eating? You don't have to work it out on your own. Book a Free Discovery Call and let's talk it through together: https://www.thepottyqueen.me/free-call

With love, Principal Lisa x