Regression or Shift? When Your Child Seems to Go Backwards

"She was dry, and now she's having accidents again."

"He was sleeping through, and now he's waking every night."

"The tantrums are back!"

I hear from so many families describing what they call regression in their child. It might be a return to night waking, challenging behaviour, or toileting accidents. Some parents tell me their child's language seems behind a sibling's, or that their child has become shyer.

I Prefer the Word "Shift" 🔄

I'm not keen on the word regression for children.

I prefer shift.

Perhaps skills your toddler had mastered have been put to one side, as routines and the world around them shifted. Perhaps we shifted our approach as parents, and our child simply adapted.

I don't believe these skills have been lost. They've just become less practised.

And often, there's an element of what I call "domains of use". Children are used to using a skill in a certain place, or with certain people. Change the place or the person, and the skill can wobble.

Big Changes Cause Shifts 🏡

A new baby. A house move. Starting nursery. A long holiday. An illness. A parent travelling for work.

Even happy changes are big changes when you're small.

No Judgement Here 💛

I always take a non-judgemental, caring position. I've been a mum to three children, and I've worked with thousands of families over the years.

Families are always doing their best with the skills and information they have at the time.

Retrace Your Steps 👣

If your child has returned to behaviours they'd once overcome, I recommend retracing your parental steps:

• Did you change anything?
• Have you moved away from a routine that used to work?
• Has life become overly busy?
• Is there enough downtime for your child?
• Are they waking up later?
• Is the bedtime routine still the same?

Retrace your steps, Mums and Dads, and take a moment to see life from your toddler's point of view. It might give you some clues about when, and why, the shift happened.

Have faith in your little person.

The skills will return, with support and the right environment.

💛 Not sure what's behind the shift? You don't have to work it out on your own. Book a Free Discovery Call and let's talk it through together: https://www.thepottyqueen.me/free-call

With love, Principal Lisa x