When Hovering Isn't Helpful

We hover because we love them.

We don't want them to get hurt. So we stay a few steps behind, arms out, ready to swoop in.

I understand. I've done it too!

But here's what I learnt on my RIE® (Resources for Infant Educarers) training, and what I see again and again with families.

What Hovering Teaches 🤔

When a child always has someone ready to catch them, they don't need to notice where their own feet are.

They step off the edge, because someone always grabs them.

They're not learning to trust themselves. And we can never relax, because we're always on duty.

What Freedom Teaches 🌱

Children who have had the chance to move freely, in a safe space, without being helped or pressured, learn how their bodies work.

They learn to plan. If they can't manage something on two feet, they go back down on all fours, or slide down on their bottom. They know their limits.

Their competence builds confidence. And confidence builds more competence.

As Magda Gerber said, "Readiness is when they do it."

How to Step Back 💛

• Create a safe space first. Low steps, soft ground, things to climb that suit their age. Then you can relax.
• Stay near, but not too near. If you're right beside them, they'll just grab you.
• Use words, not hands. "You're on the step. How can you get down?"
• Help them look. "Where are your feet?" "Check your footing."
• Offer an idea if they need it. "You could sit on your bottom and climb down."
• Don't abandon them. Let them know you're watching, and you're there to help them help themselves.
• A little tumble is OK. Learning to fall is part of learning to move.

Observe, Don't Rescue

Adults can't create development. It comes from within the child. What we can do is create the right environment, and then be a calm, attuned presence, rather than a manager of milestones.

Observation over intervention. I'm still learning this one myself!

And the bonus? You get to sit down with that cup of coffee and watch, in wonder, as your little one becomes the confident mover you always knew they could be ☕

Inspired by Ruth Anne Hammond's article "Why Hovering Isn't Helpful" (Educaring, RIE®).

💛 Finding it hard to step back? You're not alone. Book a Free Discovery Call and let's talk it through together: https://www.thepottyqueen.me/free-call

With love, Principal Lisa x